Dear Daddy,
I thought the timing was right for us to have a
candid conversation.
You are one of the most mentally astute,
energetic yet well mannered and hard-working people this humble earth has ever
known.
Your confidence, quick wit, and charisma
brightens any room you enter.
I love you very much, and I think I can speak
for my brothers also, that we have the utmost respect for you as a father and role
model in business.
I am sorry that people have been saying
insensitive things about you lately. The truth is, they don’t understand that I
will always forgive you for thinking the way you do, because I know you think
you are acting in my best interests. And we both don’t care if anybody else
understands.
As your daughter, I would want nothing more than
to make you happy. But in terms of relationships, your expectations of me and
the reality of who I am, are not coherent.
I am responsible for some of this misplaced
expectation, because I must have misled you to hope there were other options
for me. You know I’ve had male lovers in the past, and I’ve had happy, albeit
short-lived, relationships. I found myself temporarily happy, buoyed by the
freshness, the attention, the interest, of someone physically stronger than
myself.
But it was always short-lived, as I quickly lost
patience, and felt an indescribable discomfort in their presence. It usually
made me frustrated, and I would yearn for my freedom again. I’ve broken a few
hearts, hearts of good, honest and loving men, and I’m sorry that it had to be
so.
But with Sean, a woman, somehow it was
different. I am comfortable and satisfied with my life and completely at ease
with her. I know it’s difficult for you to understand how I could feel
romantically attracted to a woman; I suppose I can’t really explain it either.
It just happens, peacefully and gently, and after so many years, we still love
each other very much.
My regret is that you have no idea how happy I
am with my life, and there are aspects of my life that you don’t share. I
suppose we don’t need each other’s approval for our romantic relationships, and
I am sure your relationships are really fantastic too.
However, I do love my partner Sean, who does a
good job of looking after me, ensuring I am fed, bathed and warm enough every
day, and generally cheering me up to be a happy, jolly girl. She is a large
part of my life, and I am a better person because of her.
Now, I’m not asking you to be best of friends;
however, it would mean the world to me if you could just not be so terrified of
her, and treat her like a normal, dignified human being.
I understand it is difficult for you to
understand, let alone accept this truth.
I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out who I am,
what is important in my life, who I love and how best to live life, as an
expression of all these questions. I am proud of my life, and I would not
choose to live it any other way (except also figuring out how to be gentler on
the planet).
I’m sorry to mislead you to think I was only in
a lesbian relationship because there was a shortage of good, suitable men in
Hong Kong.
There are plenty of good men, they are just not
for me.
Wishing you happiness.
Patiently yours,
Your daughter, Gigi.
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